"But I'm here for a reason, and with luck I'll pass my test and eventually find my way to the waterside where hopefully docks full of sailboats will await my exploration."
So much for that.
The color blindness test yesterday proved, well, that I'm colorblind. I can't easily distinguish between green and white, though red shows up just fine. This is the most frustrating failure I've ever experienced. I don't fail. I've never failed anything that I've put my mind to, yet this time it was completely out of my control. No amount of studying, of hard work was going to help my eyes see color better.
I wanted to punch the wall yesterday when i walked out of the MCA office. I cursed bloody Southampton and everything British, and just wandered aimlessly around the city, finally finding that marina I was looking for. I actually was invited to go racing on Xtrovert, an X-Yachts 37-footer last evening, but simply was not in the mood to be around boats, so I took the train home to Romsey, staring out the window for the duration of the short ride.
Clint was home, and I went running. I needed to run, and it did me good. Behind Clint's house is a path that leads along an ancient canal, with forest bordering one side, and open meadows on the other. Meadow is really the only description for the landscape, appropriately British. It's beautiful. I trotted along the footpath, as it's called. The sun shone down through the branches of the tress that formed a sort of tunnel over the path, and bugs flitted about in front of me. Four ducks waddled down the path, anxious to get out of my way, but friendly enough not to fly off in a flurry. They were content to plop themselves headfirst into the canal, and gave a nod as I passed.
I ran the anger and frustration out of me. 20 minutes into my journey I sped up, because I had a realization. I can run. I can run as far as I want to, and no one can stop me. I can sail. I can sail my own boat around the world as many times as I please. I can climb Mt. Everest, I can write a thousand books, I can compete in a thousand races. Why waste my time worrying about what I can't do? I realized that to focus on what I can do and not waste any time not doing it is foolish.
Clint, Ally, Matt and I went last night to the hotel where I'm sitting now and drank beer and tequila. The conversation grew livelier with each shot and each glass of beer, and I enjoyed the company of my friends.